hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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