Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize