i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Randomize
