ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
