I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
