I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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