There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
