i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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