Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
