Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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