marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
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