it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
The air taste purple.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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