but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
