Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Randomize
