Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
