He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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