whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
