my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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