I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
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