You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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