Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
There r osticjed everywhere
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize