How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
