Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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