watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
