They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
So squirting runs in the family.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Who died my cat blue again?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize