stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
