Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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