I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
