You can't special order awesome
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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