she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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