just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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