I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
