moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize