yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
