I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
this boner is exhausting
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
