his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
