drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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