Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
So many bounce houses so little time
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
