woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize