I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
