my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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