My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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