I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
