I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
