I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
