Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
