i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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