my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
