how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
