I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I still have a little drunk in my system
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
