god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
