My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
They took my balls.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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