half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
