why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
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