great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
