Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Terrible idea I love it
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
