It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Someone came in the potted fern
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
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