I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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