I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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