ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
