from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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