i already hear my dad disowning me
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
