I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
