This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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