i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
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