My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
this just has baby written all over it
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I still have a little drunk in my system
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
