i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Everyone says I win the strip club
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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